[Pro Writer] Hondo by Louis L'Amour - Dissection, Part 3

We continue dissecting L'Amour's short story - "Gift of Cochise". That's the base his bestseller and movie "Hondo" came from - where his novel-writing career took off.

The spread for “Gift of Cochise” as it appeared in Colliers (5 July 1952)

OUR WORK SO FAR: Hondo was L’Amour’s big break into novels. It was based on his “Gift of Cochise”. We’ve worked through the first and last scenes of this story, following W. S. Campbell’s prescribed approach. (See this Dissection Part 1 post.)

Again, I found a PDF of the original short story, although I’ve not been able to find that link again - and included it here ICYMI:

The Gift Of Cochise Louis L'amour

109KB ∙ PDF file

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And the full description of how to do this dissective type of study is in my earlier article:

Forgotten Bestseller Secrets 01

This installment is based on the second lesson in that series: Feeling and Fact

Forgotten Bestseller Secrets 02

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The Gift of Cochise Dissection

I’ve separated the story into obvious scenes. You can dispute the length of these with me — few space breaks define them.

Scene 14

When Jimmy spoke, Angie got quickly to her feet. She recognized Cochise with a start of relief, but she saw instantly that this was a war party. And then she saw the prisoner.

Their eyes met and she felt a distinct shock. He was a white man, a big, unshaven man who badly needed both a bath and a haircut, his clothes ragged and bloody. Cochise gestured at the prisoner.

"No take Apache man, you take white man. This man good for hunt, good for fight. He strong warrior. You take 'im."

Flushed and startled, Angie stared at the prisoner and caught a faint glint of humor in his dark eyes.

"Is this here the fate worse than death I hear tell of?" he inquired gently.

"Who are you?" she asked, and was immediately conscious that it was an extremely silly question.

The Apaches had drawn back and were watching curiously. She could do nothing for the present but accept the situation. Obviously they intended to do her a kindness, and it would not do to offend them. If they had not brought this man to her, he might have been killed.

"Name's Ches Lane, ma'am," he said. "Will you untie me? I'd feel a lot safer."

"Of course." Still flustered, she went to him and untied his hands. One Indian said something, and the others chuckled; then, with a whoop, they swung their horses and galloped off down the canyon.

Their departure left her suddenly helpless, the shadowy globe of her loneliness shattered by this utterly strange man standing before her, this big, bearded man brought to her out of the desert.

She smoothed her apron, suddenly pale as she realized what his delivery to her implied. What must he think of her? She turned away quickly. "There's hot water," she said hastily, to prevent his speaking. "Dinner is almost ready."

Discussion:

Here, Angie meets Ches Lane for the first time. This scene follows the 10th scene in the story’s action. (We’ll come back to this cliffhanger later.)

Of course, the character of Ches was built up earlier. His condition has to be built up with plants. Here we see him unshaven, with ragged clothes and bloody. So he’s been put through hell.

Cochise has familiarity with this woman. And in this short scene, he leaves the story line with finality. While Angie has a conflict with Cochise, it’s now a reversal - he brings her a gift (and the stories title unfolds at last) of a man she needs to raise that child we met in the first scene.

The last two paragraphs seem to be the scene’s sequel. Which then leads us into the final scene. Cochise and his war party leave, and Angie invites Ches to clean up before dinner. Which leaves us on an emotional cliff-hanger.

This then is the romance story arc come full cycle. The land itself kept these two apart. This is this couple’s “cute meet”, even if delayed until the end of this story.

(There is a plot hole here, if you want to find it. A missing plant. Ches arrival has her in the middle of cooking a meal, with water heated. At the end of scene 10, she’s sitting by a spring in the shade of a cottonwood, reading the Bible to her children, as their Sunday custom. And this oopsie says you may benefit by studying your own writing in this way as a review to avoid such.)

The point of Cochise saying,

“No take Apache man, you take white man. This man good for hunt, good for fight. He strong warrior. You take 'im.”

Then summarizes the conflict between Cochise and Angie, concluding it.

Her untying Ches then finishes this action. She’s accepted the gift. The scene proper is complete.

And so,

Their departure left her suddenly helpless, the shadowy globe of her loneliness shattered by this utterly strange man standing before her, this big, bearded man brought to her out of the desert.

Here’s the romance arc again. And so we will need to see this loneliness built up, pointing to this solution.

Note the tags in that last quote. Shadowy globe implies her world view. Big and bearded, as well as utterly strange define her view of Ches. He is an antithesis to her orderly farm, and yet exactly what she needed. Getting him cleaned up is an invitation that brings him out of the savagery of the West into the tentative order of the pioneer ranching life.

Cochise himself uses tags of “good for hunt, good for fight” and distinguishes between Apache man and whlte man.

This is all in using emotional terms and factual terms in the same sentence - which keeps the reader involved and keeps them reading.

That last paragraph has a pointer “to prevent his speaking”. He must eventually tell her what he knows, which will then change her life with a story ending twist.

And I just spotted in the third-to-last paragraph where it includes the last sentence of the prior paragraph into this one — which is a continuity device. The act of untying hands has little to do with the Apache’s departure - but in this case is the one action that they were waiting for. In “pure” paragraphs, that first sentence belongs with the earlier paragraph above (logically) but using it in juxtaposition now shows an action-reaction effect which keeps the reader reading, breathlessly absorbed.

Again, L’Amour is utilizing the core basics of Campbell’s effective approach. Something he’d learned 15 years prior — and which financed his storytelling all that time.

Facts and Feelings

This is the core of Lesson 2 (above). What keeps a reader going is the amount of emotional involvement. People have to have facts to move the story itself along, but the most riveting approach is to have both fact and feeling in your sentences.

It’s then worth a look at how L’Amour worked these in together, and start keeping track of the flow of his work. We’ll cover more devices later, but this one on fact-feeling is a first key to keeping the reader reading.

Look for emotion-ridden words in the tags, but also where the words of feeling show up in relation to the fact-based ones. In general, fiction is pulled along by having the feelings show up first, but can alternate for effect.

Again, this is a good reason to dissect these stories backwards - so you can stay aloof from the rush of action and emotion while you dissect to learn.

Doing this with your own works may surprise you to find how much you’ve already internalized from your earlier reading. Going Pro means being able to dissect everything you read, both good and not-so-much.

Where to Find Technical Devices and Why Look

I’ve brought up these devices mentioned earlier in a short series of posts. And the point of that first series is: Keep ‘Em Reading.

Find these here:

Forgotten Bestseller Secrets TOC

What we’ve brought up - tags, pointers, scene-sequels, unity, continuity — all these are covered as forgotten bestseller secrets. I spent years finding and digesting the materials produced in that first two decades of W. S. Campbell’s training course. It’s never been duplicated any where else or sense.

Finally, I distilled his stuff as best I could to repackage it into a modern form (mini-courses) which could be readily understood in our current culture. This first section has eight lessons, and exposes you to the hard-won basics these instructors won through hard work and persistence. These tell you how readers want their stories structured and presented. Its a lot to master - and they come across like secrets.

And these secrets are now being released again. All so you and everyone can speed up their progress in learning how write un-put-downable popular stories. While not having to spend decades re-inventing the wheel for yourself.

The reason for investing all this time is to help you save it. Because life only flows one way. It can be invested, but the returns are only in your own quality of life. Sure, it’s never too late. You can always get everything you’ve ever wanted to be or have out of life. Starting now. And this newsletter helps you find the library of life-changing books I’ve accumulated and now share. This one area is in how to write effectively.

All until, eventually, someone brings these Campbell books back into print. For now, I’ll continue to promote him and his instructor’s works. And help people understand how to communicate better with each other through their writing.

This is why we are here - to make this world a better place. One typed (or spoken) word at a time. Because when you understand how people like to be told their stories, then your writing gets easier. And people want to find more of your books because they finally found an author that “gets them”, that speaks personally to them. These are the forgotten bestseller secrets.

You get certainty on your own craft by distilling other authors, both good and bad, to find what they did great and how they could do better. That’s learning. That’s evolution. That’s why we are here.

Continuing this Dissection

Over the next few weeks, we’ll continue taking this story apart. And I’ll keep these dissective posts in some sort of table of contents so you can second-guess my brief notes and find more writing devices L’Amour used here.

Once “Cochise” is wrapped up, we plan to start in on the “Hondo” book proper — at least that’s the plan. But I don’t know how all this will turn out. Real life doesn’t allow you to skip to the ending…

Meanwhile, I’m continuing to release the rest of the two mini-courses here - on Compelling Characters and Riveting Storytelling. All at one chapter per week. While this series you’re reading continues to utilize what we learn in those mini-courses to teach us how to write better. Every week, something new - from finding how the classics can teach us.

Regardless, I hope to see you here next week to continue the process of finding out how L’Amour pulled all this off.

Missed What we Covered Earlier?

[Pro Writing] Hondo by Louis L'Amour - Dissection, Part 1

[Pro Writer] Hondo by Louis L'Amour - Dissection, Part 2

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For Paid Members

I’ve extracted the text and attached my epub file of Cochise below. (Use Calibre or similar to convert it to plain text.) I’ve also recreated this short story with the scenes in reverse order - also attached.

Also included is the full “Forgotten Bestseller Secrets”, which has the full mini-course, plus two additional mini-courses on characterization and plot building. All based on Campbell’s works and those of his instructors.

As well, I’ve included Campbell’s contemporaries, Foster Harris and Dwight V. Swain in “The Basic Formulas of Fiction”. This will explain more about the technical points we’ve covered above.

Needless to say, you ought to upgrade in order to speed your progress as a professional writer.