Triangle: A Memoir – Part II
This story continues - Fiona, Kaylee, and Karl all find their lives are more inter-joined than they thought. Redemption doesn't come easy for any of them...
The second half of this story follows “Death by Sales Pitch” from last week. (All previous stories linked below.)
Click also to see the full version as this may not fit most emails...
VII
- - - -
“I'M TOLD THAT I GET to play the 'Ghost of Christmas Present' for you this afternoon.”
Fiona was dressed in a sleeveless off-white v-neck knit top over her stone-washed jeans and sturdy boots. That combination displayed her assets well, without sledge-hammering them over my head.
There's a lot to be said for a person who keeps themselves trim, appealing, and yet aren't throwing themselves at you. Someone who demands your respect for who they are. But that withdrawal just makes you reach to find out more about them. There has to be a helluva story there, somewhere. Because she turned out so nice.
Yes, I was sorry about her husband and Kaylee's parents. And I invited them to stay because I knew it would help them.
What I didn't expect was the third-degree of my own past, under the premise that they were trying to find out what their Grandma meant with her dying wish.
Fiona saw me thinking and came up for a hug to bring me out of it. One that ended up with a couple of kisses on my neck.
She had my attention for sure, now. Soft, curvy women know other ways to a man's heart than just food.
Her arm around my waist, we walked down a broad cow path toward shade trees and my second-daily and final inspection of the small cow herd I maintained. Twice a day, every day.
“So, Karl, what about your own marriage?”
“Well, that's to the point.”
“I could go back and steal one of your manly shirts and unbutton it down to here...”
My eyes wandered there, briefly. “Not that I would really object to seeing that sight...”
“But, yes, you would. Because you respect us both. Just in different ways.”
“Your niece is quite talented and a genius. Never met such a fast learner.”
“And you haven't even gotten around to teaching her sex yet.”
My face blushed at that. “I've got a feeling she's already done a fair amount of homework before she arrived here.”
“So you'll just have to skip to the final exam?”
“You are such a tease.”
Fiona touched my nose with her finger. “Well, Kaylee brought me up to speed on what you talked about as soon as she came back. That in addition to watching a romantic movie last night, and I also had trouble getting to sleep.”
I chuckled and let that tidbit slide.
Fiona squeezed my waist. “You didn't answer my question. I told you about mine, it's only fair, right?”
“OK, OK. Look, the short answer is - I over-thought the idea and picked out someone I could logically have a marriage with. I came to love her, but she had her career as a priority over making a marriage work. So we separated for awhile, until she divorced me, and I moved back here.”
She stopped us. “Karl, I'm sorry. And I didn't mean to touch a nerve. So if you still don't want to talk about it, that's fine.”
Then she started us walking again.
“So, you're going to let it go at that?” I was curious.
“Sure. If that's what you want. I don't have to be nosy.”
One side of my mouth went up in a wry grin. “You know, Fiona, you're sweet. And cute, and cuddly. But mainly sweet.”
She hugged me and put her head on my shoulder for a few paces. (The rough pasture ground isn't good for much more than a few paces of walking hugs.)
“No, you know, Fiona, there are some things I would like to talk out. Like you, I had some adjustments to do. Most of those coping methods during our separation were in going to afternoon budget matinées and sitting in a mostly empty, dark theater where I could sob everything out. Once the tear-jerky scene started, then I could just let loose.
“So a lot of that broken-heartedness is long gone. Also, it all happened about 20 years ago now – and while time doesn't heal all wounds, they don't bleed much after awhile. And scar over.
“What was interesting to me came from talking to you and Kaylee. Because a lot of this I never looked at before. Like that single word I told your mother which changed her life. And now I'm only hearing about it 40 years later. That alone is fascinating.
“But Kaylee's 'acting out' was surprising. Our culture has changed so much that the support I had as a kid seems to have almost evaporated.”
Fiona nodded. “You've been such a great help to her, and such a great role model and friend. I've never seen her open up to anyone like she's responded to you.”
I smiled. “Thanks. But she really is a marvel. Smart, creative, intuitive, and a diligent researcher. All skill-sets that place her way above most people, even those with several college degrees under their belts. You won't have to worry about her, other than 'is she coming home for the holidays' type of questions...”
Fiona hugged me. “Still, it's you that brought all that out. And one thing she said to me is that you're still, in your words, scarred over that wound.”
“That marriage wound.”
“Right.”
“Then you came back here and started a solitary writing lifestyle. I bet you never even dated since.”
I just stayed silent.
So she punched me in my arm.
“Ow.”
“Don't you clam up on me – right when we're getting somewhere.”
“Are we?”
“Look – you've probably had more conversations with women in these past few days than you have in maybe all the time since you've been out here.”
“Close.”
“And you've been talking about sex, and marriage, and getting to 'home base' with a teenager who's probably a third of your age.”
I shrugged.
She punched me again.
“Ow, again.”
“Those are the rules. You clam up, you get punched.”
“OK, deal.”
“Now – what the hell was it that made you simply shut down all your lines to the rest of the world, when you could make any number of women extremely happy for the rest of your – and their – lives?”
I paused, stopped walking. And held up my hand to ward off another punch. Finally, “I think it was trust.”
Fiona stayed quiet and waited.
“'Once burnt and twice shy' goes the phrase. But not just marriage. She represented everything that was screwed up in that world I'd been trying to fix for years.”
“'That world' being defined as?”
“Really, it was almost all of the first 40 years of my life. Sure, it was a mess in that corporation I joined, but I stuck with it until I knew that it was so screwed up I wasn't going to be able to deal with it until I was outside of it.”
“You came back to the farm you grew up on.”
“Right. No money, no pension, and I started some work at local warehouses, entry level.”
“And...”
“They were no better than the organization I'd left. The women (and men) I'd met really had no clue. No one I even wanted to date. They'd all drunk the Kool-Aid. Like this one girl who's mother brought her out to the farm. Nice gal. Bright. Seemed to like me. But to marry her, I'd inherit a mother-in-law from hell.”
“Computing much?”
“All the time. My strength – and apparent weakness.”
“Apparent?”
“Jury's still out on that one.”
“Or it's time to call a mis-trial and start over.”
“Good point.”
“Look, you're an extremely lovable guy. Yes, you've got some age on you, but so much – so very much – wisdom that you share with anyone who wants to talk with you. And all that makes you sexy, so very sexy...”
I looked at her. She wasn't just teasing me. “Thanks for considering me so.”
She punched me again.
“Hey...”
“That's for dropping back into that stick-in-the-mud thinking.”
“So you're saying I need to start getting out more.”
“Yes. Back on the horse that threw you. And meanwhile, this time, don't settle.”
“Could work...”
“Does work.”
“From your experiences.”
“Look, I crunch numbers for a living. And numbers are symbols for other things. When I do an IRS form, it's telling the story of that business for that year. And it has to add up. Like stories, businesses are alive. And the people who operate them, who create them, are very alive. They make mistakes, they give into temptation. And the bulk of them don't know what the hell they are doing. That's called being human.”
I stopped our walking again and just looked down into her very intense green eyes.
“OK, Karl. It's time. You already know all you need to know to get any woman that measures up to that high bar you've set. All you need to do is to work out what you want and then work out a plan to get there. But first, you have to recover your desire to have a soul mate. And to do that, you have to believe it's possible. Just like you preach to Kaylee and me.”
Fiona paused for effect, her eyes boring into mine. “Or are you basically a fraud and a hypocrite?”
Instead of punching her, I put my arms around her to pull her in tight.
Fiona had her head below my chin, but finally pushed away enough to look up at me again. “So I take that as a yes, you'll start looking again?”
I nodded.
- - - -
FRESH AIR HAS A WAY of clearing the mind. As does inspiration.
At that point, when I looked down at Fiona looking up at me, I then saw her in a new light. Trim, yes. Appealing, yes. In all her middle-age changes, she still had a lot to give.
“Fiona, There's a hole in your theory, though.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“You're not talking from your own experience, but out of your numbers of others.”
“Meaning?”
“Who have you dated since your husband died?”
“No one.”
“And you can tell me I need to get out more?”
“It was just... raising Kaylee... I just...” She frowned. “OK, look – I'm getting close to forty. I don't have the same shape as when I married him...”
I held up my hand. “Wait. That's the thought exactly. The difference between you and Kaylee isn't that she's skinny and you've filled out.”
Fiona just looked at me with those deep green eyes, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“It's attitude. Her attitude is over the top, racing all over the track, while your own is stuck at the starting line.”
“Says the recluse.”
“Oh my mind races all the time, that's where all my stories come from. That's what I've been researching all this time – trying to reconcile the seeming innate craziness built into humans.”
“And ignoring your own nutty idea of trying to sort out life on your own, by yourself.”
I smiled. “So we have pot calling the kettle black, then.”
“Wait, I get out and about.”
“Shopping doesn't count, unless you're flirting with the eligible store manager, or sizing up the male shoppers in the produce aisle.”
“OK, Karl, what are we doing here, then?”
“Just what you told me to – finding some other person to check my numbers with.”
She looked down at her outfit. “But I still don't know, Karl. Like you said, I don't know if I have the form to compete with the younger set.”
“Who says you have to?”
“That's who gets all the eyeballs.”
“You're short-changing yourself. The hard-muscled teen body is fine for the high-metabolism teens. The rest of us have to deal with a lot more softness. But look at the classics – Rubens' women are still gorgeous. Look at Aphrodite, the classic sculptures. All this current skinniness isn't very healthy, either.”
Fiona was still looking herself over. “Love handles.”
“What?”
She looked up at me again. “Sure, this outfit makes me look slim, but underneath it are curves upon curves that have added over the years, no matter how hard I've worked to move them off.”
I gave her a wry smile, and took her hand, putting it on my side. “Here.”
“What?”
“Feel it – right there.”
She pinched the side of my waist – I flinched. “Your love handle.”
“And why do you think they call it a love handle?”
“So you have something to hang onto during sex.”
I smiled. “That's one explanation. Not really practical, though.”
“Says the recluse who himself hasn't gotten out in, what? 20 years?”
“Hey, I still have my memories of being as young as you are now.”
“Young – I... Oh – wait. You got me.”
Fiona took my own hand and placed it on her side. “So that is attractive?”
I pinched her own side, and she twisted away, giggling. “That tickles.”
Then she came close in again, and put her hands on both of my sides, those deep green eyes peering into mine. “You're tense.”
“To be honest Fiona, I'm thinking that you're going to pinch both sides this time.”
She just patted me there. “No, dear. I was just enjoying the love padding you're carrying.”
She then reached up and pulled my head down to her level and gave me a long kiss. My arms came in to hug her, letting my walking stick drop and not worrying about whether my gloves were staying in my back pocket. And I ended up pulling her right off the ground, where she wrapped her legs around my waist to stay there.
I was being blessed by an angel and neither of us wanted it to quit.
At last Fiona broke for air. With a wide grin on her face..
“You know, Karl, I've been wanting to do that for a long time.”
“The feeling has been mutual then.”
We just looked into each others eyes for the longest time, until she finally broke off to hug me long and deep. I could feel all her curves against me, and – I guess in their parlance, I was feeling quite “inspired” by the time she let me go and I lowered her back to the ground.
Her own face was flushed down to where her knit v-neck started, and obviously from where I stood above her that the flush went somewhere down way below what I could see. “I suppose we've both been keeping ourselves off the market for way too long.”
I just nodded, a wide grin on my face. “Thanks Fiona.”
She was hugging me again, looking up into my face. “For something more than my little 'I wanna rock your world' invitation?”
I kissed her forehead. “More than that – it's that between the two of you, I've kinda woken up more and have more to live for in all this. Both of you have come out here and shared some very personal histories with me. And helped me to quit being so 'stuffy' about things.”
Fiona looked at me with those deep hazel eyes of hers. “Karl?”
“Yes?”
“Would you mind if we call your cow inspection 'done' for the day?”
“I suppose so. Something you need to do?”
“I think I need to compare notes with you in your cabin.” She was grinning.
I grinned back. “Well, of course. Certainly, whatever notes you want to go over...”
The walk back to my little cabin was faster going uphill than it was down. More motivated.
But we had to take a few pauses for intense smooching on our way back, so it was after sunset before we arrived.
- - - -
SOMETIME AFTER DARK, Kaylee walked across the gravel drive to get to my cabin. She had her laptop in hand and some questions on her mind.
As she almost stepped onto its tiny porch, she noticed that the lights were out. Since I usually wrote for a few hours after dark, this was odd for a guy like me with nearly unbreakable habits.
There was also an odd set of sounds coming through the side window, so she moved closer to hear. Giggling, thumps, sighs, kisses, the occasional quiet moan. From that loft above the windows.
After a moment, she worked out that there could only be one thing happening right now in that little cabin.
Quietly, she whispered to herself, “Momma's gettin' some lovin'....”
Her face split in a grin and she quietly went back to the big house.
After all, she'd get the details soon enough...
VIII
- - - -
“OK, KARL, ITS TIME for the sex talk.”
“Oh, do come in Kaylee. I was expecting you earlier than this, actually.”
“Well, I had to pump Fiona for the details. She wasn't up early for breakfast, so I was on my second mug of coffee before she finally came down.”
I smiled. “Yeah, she thought it would be more seemly to come down from her own bed this morning. Even though you'd still be wondering where she'd been and what she was doing last night – in all the 'explicit details' as she put it.”
At the word explicit, a flush started on Kaylee's chest and moved up to her hairline. It was then I noticed she was dressed back in her short-shorts and halter top.
I rose, reached behind her for my sweatshirt and wrapped it around her neck. “House rules.”
Then I reached again for my own coffee mug. That set me on my second mug-full myself. I’d already cooked my own breakfast and made my own coffee. This cabin still smelled of its rich aroma from this morning’s brew. Second cup for me is usually for after the first pasture walk. At that, I turned back toward my young female visitor.
“Oh, Kaylee, did you get breakfast OK?”
She had laid her laptop on the corner of my narrow writing desk, and finished shoving her arms through the sweatshirt, then rolling up its sleeves. “Yes, and since I've been watching you, I was able to do a decent job at panbread. Of course, there was only me there. And that's probably good practice for when I get an apartment and go to college.”
“Probably.”
“Not that I'll always be alone in my apartment.”
“No, not always.”
“I mean, I could have some friends or a single friend over if I wanted.”
“You sure could.” I sipped my coffee again.
“Or I could share an apartment with another girl.”
“That would be nice – sharing is good.”
“And then wonder where they'd been all night, or who was that waking up next to them and was this going to be semi-permanent, or just a one-off thing.”
“Those are good questions to ask.”
“And so? Is it?”
“Is it what?” I looked at her over the rim of my coffee mug. “OHHH – you want to know where your Aunt was. She didn't tell you?”
Kaylee was not amused at being teased like this. Her face was beet read and she was biting her lower lip. (I wonder where she got that from...)
“OK, Kaylee, don't blow a fuse. You already know all the details. So what's the deal, are you jealous?”
She just looked at the ceiling but that included my loft, so she looked at the day-bed, but thought better of that and then looked down at her laptop on my writing desk. Her hands had formed into fists. White-knuckled fists that were holding onto each other – probably to keep from beating something or throwing something.
“Kaylee, just stop.” I pulled that laptop out of her reach and tossed it onto the daybed.
Then I reached over, wrapped my arms around her shoulders and held her close.
To begin with, she started beating my back with her fists, then she held me and seemed to cry and then sob, finally it turned to laughter which was muzzled against my chest.
I pushed her back slightly and she was laughing so hard she was crying. And so I started chuckling myself.
“Karl, you horn-dog. You reprobate. You absolutely adorable hunk of man – I love you!” She moved into hug me harder than she ever had before. And I enjoyed it completely.
She backed up only to smother my face with tiny kisses until I had to push her back. “I thought you came here to get your sex lessons?”
Kaylee was laughing. “Yes, but they started with my Aunt's complete description of almost everything you did last night, so my lessons started early.” And that deep flush reappeared.
Then her face went serious. “That was the first time she's ever lied to me.”
I was actually surprised. “What?”
“Yes, I heard what you two were doing last night. And saw how she was smiling this morning. You two 'did the dirty' last night – and don't try to say you didn't!”
- - - -
“WELL THEN, KAYLEE, nothing I say to you will be true then.”
Her face was puzzled.
“You boxed yourself into a logical corner.”
“You're just trying to change the subject...”
“No, you're just denying the facts because it's upsetting your preconceived notions. And I can only 'lie' to you if I tell you my truth, and lie to you if I tell you yours.”
She pouted. Her mental math wasn't adding up. Both outcomes couldn't be true.
Then it hit me. “Well, either way, I'm not going to 'home base' with you, especially now.”
Her face drained. “Wait – you mean... you just said you might?”
“There's no physical or legal reason why I couldn't. But there's a much more important reason why I won't – not under these conditions, anyway.”
“Ooh, I don't know what to ask next. Tell me the conditions first.”
I gave a wry grin. Her quick wit was always amusing. “Alright, I love you, but I'm not in love with you.”
“OK, well that makes sense. Not that I want to buy into it. From what you've said, that would take a lot of investment and we've only been here a week at best.”
“Exactly.”
“So the 'important reason'?”
“I love you, but I'm not in love with you.”
The frown returned. “Wait, we can hug and kiss and fool around, but never go all the way until we're really in love.”
“Right – but let's leave that 'fool around' part out of it.”
“Because there would have to be a reason for fooling around.”
“Other than your woman parts are screaming for it.”
She grinned. “They do that.”
I smiled in return. “But a lot of that 'screaming' is from your own mental habits, and the people you run around with outside your home.”
“Wait, they control my female parts?”
“Only as you let them. Your mind is, well – let's keep it simple... Your mind is what you think. And your mind activates your glands. So a lot of the biochemical 'feelings' you have can be turned on and off by what you're thinking.”
“Like the buzz we get at the end of a good chick flick.”
I nodded. “Or watching porn on social media.”
“Wait, did I say that? I never said... I didn't admit...”
I suppressed a chuckle. “Oh come on. How do you think you are so wound up about sex if you didn't surround yourself with it?”
She yawned. Her eyes were dark-rimmed and drooping. I remembered she said that she'd been up waiting for her Aunt.
“Kaylee, you're almost dead on your feet.”
She shook herself and forced her eyes open. “No, this is interesting. Keep going.”
My wry grin returned. “Look, you don't trust me or your Aunt to be truthful about what happened last night. Why don't you go up to the loft and check the evidence for yourself. The bed's been made, but the sheets and bedclothes are the same as then.”
This perked her up.
She smiled and moved around me toward the ladder, then stopped.
I turned toward her, and she melted into my arms for a big hug. “You know I want to believe you, but my mind tells me it's impossible.”
I kissed the top of her head, then gave her a gentle shove toward the ladder.
It was only a few steps to get into the loft, and she made it easily.
A few minutes later I heard her soft snoring.
IX
- - - -
SHORTLY AFTER KAYLEE was asleep, I got my bare feet into my slip-on sneakers and kept the screen door from slamming on my way out.
Fiona was looking for me, so she opened the front door before I got there. I noticed she had slipped into a thin flowered sundress this morning, and was barefoot. She hugged me after I barely got inside. And I kissed the top of her head.
“Well, Fiona, she's sleeping. Apparently she waited up for you most of last night.”
“Yeah, I saw her asleep on the couch when I came in, so I covered her up with that throw from across the couch back, and then snuck upstairs.”
“You sleep OK?”
“Heavenly. And you?”
“Just fine. Very fine.” And I kissed the top of her head again.
“She pressed me for details.” Fiona looked up at me. “We always share everything with each other. I raised her for the last three years. But this time It felt like I was getting payback for the grilling I used to give her when she came home late after a date. And she was typing things into her laptop the whole time!”
Fiona put her head back on my chest again. “The problem was that she didn't believe me when I told her we didn't have sex.”
“Yeah, I know. That's almost all we talked about just then.”
Fiona tensed and looked up at me. “You lied to her and told her we did?”
I had to smile. “No, what we talked about was that she only wanted to believe that we did, because then she could, too.”
Her face clouded. “That girl has a one track mind these days.”
“Well, now she has several options to switch tracks now.”
Then she reached up on tip-toes to kiss me on the lips. “You know, you are a gorgeous hunk of man.”
I had to smile. “Sounds like someone else is trying to persuade me that way.”
Fiona just stood there, as close as she could reach. “I'm sorry if the truth hurts, dear.”
One of my eyebrows raised. “'Dear'?”
“Yes. You've earned that term. It's what I save for the people I dearly love.”
“You, too, dear.”
She smiled. “But I don't think I thanked you enough for what you helped me with last night.”
“Well, I thought you did.”
Her smile turned into a grin. “No, not that way. I meant that you helped me feel like a woman again, not just a middle-aged single mother trying to compete with the twenty-somethings out there. Instead of fighting all the extra filling I've gotten with the years, I could embrace it and see all that as an asset.”
“Well, you're welcome.” I felt her shift in her embrace. “Oh, do you want to continue this later?”
“Yes, all this tippy-toe business is killing my feet. I'm no ballerina. But – let's just move to the couch. I think I either need another lesson or I have to thank you more...”
- - - -
AS MUCH AS WE BOTH wanted to continue, we were both soon asleep ourselves on that couch. Good sleep doesn't replace enough sleep.
I woke to the sound of quiet tapping nearby.
I opened my eyes, looked over, and found Kaylee sitting in one of the side chairs, typing into her laptop. Still wearing my sweatshirt, she now had replaced her shorts with some dark form-fitting leggings. Her legs were curled up beneath her, the laptop balanced on one arm of that chair so she could type.
Seeing my eyes were on her, she held up a finger to her mouth, and looked pointedly at her sleeping Aunt.
I had to chuckle a bit.
Fiona roused at that, and stretched slightly with her eyes still shut. She rubbed her face into my t-shirt-covered chest and a smile spread across her face. Her hand came up to brush a strand of hair out of her face. Then settled back, contented. She lay fully on top of me, head on my chest, while I stretched out below her. Somehow the couch's back coverlet was now over our forms.
Kaylee continued her light tapping, and soon Fiona's eyes snapped open when she recognized the sound. She struggled to sit up, which meant I had to change position, too.
Pulling the coverlet around her, she then almost glowered at Kaylee.
Her niece just grinned. “Oh, don't go there, Auntie. And yes, you're welcome.”
Fiona's face settled into a frown. “Welcome?”
“Yes, I saw you two there, and so covered you up – like you did me.”
My arm was over the top of the couch, and I was smiling at this interchange.
Fiona looked under the coverlet to see that everything was still in place and then found herself looking into my eyes again. With a glance at Kaylee, she settled back down with her head on my lap, her feet curled up, and the coverlet tucked under her chin. All warm and cozy again.
I had to ask, “How's the research study going?”
Kaylee looked up from her screen. “Oh, that real-life chick flick you two have going?”
“Like you don't have any part in it.”
“Just a minor character. Like some Greek chorus.”
“Which has only a single person in it.”
She shrugged. That metaphor didn't hold much water. “Still, it's the story that counts.”
I was still curious. “You've probably got a novel's worth in there by now.”
“Not so much. And it all reads like a research journal. Not very engaging.”
Fiona had her eyes shut, a hand on my leg by her face. If she'd been a cat, the purring would be loud by now.
Kaylee noticed my eyes on her Aunt. “I'd bring it over to show you, but that would interrupt my Auntie's beauty sleep.”
Fiona nodded slightly, smiling.
I nodded. “Oh, that's OK – I scanned through it while you were sleeping in the loft, before I came over.”
Kaylee's smile never wavered. “Of course you did. That was one reason I didn't take it up to the loft with me.”
“Other than you were dog-tired and almost fell asleep on the ladder going up to the loft. I don't know that you'd make it while using only one hand to climb with.”
Kaylee nodded. “That, too. But what did you think of it?”
“Reads well enough. Not up to being a first draft of anything. But it's got a lot of descriptive notes. Shows you know how to write.”
“Thanks. I took your advice about studying other writer's prose. There's a world of difference between well-written prose and the film version.”
I nodded, but paused. While this was interesting to Kaylee and me, Fiona would be getting bored and restless, all this talk just keeping her awake.
“So, what are you typing now, descriptions of this sight of us two?”
Kaylee grinned. “Well, kinda. I started a new file where I'm trying to capture this real-life chick flick playing out in front of me. And while I can replay it all in my mind, just trying to find the right words slows everything down. So there are some disjointed notes in there at times.”
“What's the theme to it?”
“Typical chick lit: 'Mature sexy woman falls in love with an older gorgeous hunk, while innocent and naive young niece takes copious notes on how to improve her own love life.'”
Fiona's eyes snapped open at this.
Both Kaylee and I chuckled.
Fiona sat upright, but after seeing that it was all a tease, she moved back over to put her head on my shoulder and an arm around my middle, curving her legs to fit back under the coverlet.
I adjusted the coverlet to lay across my lap to keep her cozy. Soon her eyes were shut again – back into her cat-like drowsing, but not fully asleep.
Kaylee was tap-tapping again, focused on the laptop screen.
- - - -
“I MIGHT AS WELL GIVE you that sex lesson you've been pestering me about.”
Kaylee stopped typing and looked up from laptop screen at the mention of “sex”.
“Fiona can join in if she wants to, or has a question.”
Fiona nodded against my shoulder, but her eyes stayed closed, her arm tightened across my middle in a brief hug.
“It's all pretty simple, as I've been distilling all these ideas since you first wound up in my cabin that early morning:
“As I told you before, life and real living isn't about having indiscriminate sex, it's about making love. Sharing love, living in love.. And that means that you have to love the person first, to establish a real loving trust before you can work at making love.”
Fiona stirred slightly.
“Oh, that's something that Fiona and I discussed last night – but I doubt if it showed up through your grilling her:
“All sex in a marriage isn't love-making. Sometimes it because the guy needs it, sometimes it's because you need it – just a body thing. It's not always 'love-making'.
“And per the oldest surviving texts, that's probably some 'root chakra' doing the talking through your 'parts'...
“But the ideal is to enable every time you commit to sex within a marriage to become active love-making. That's the ideal. But marriage is also being there for each other. And that means scratching each other's itches.”
“Now, there are three core principles to making a marriage and making it work:
“1) to love unconditionally,
“2) to give open-handedly, and
“3) to be willing to create and give yourself to something bigger than the sum of the two of you singly.
“That said, the reasoning behind all the taboo's and laws is simple: 'Does what you're doing lead to healthy progeny?'”
Kaylee leaned forward, “What about all those sex positions?”
I smiled. “Get a book about them, if you haven't already. Test them out. Figure out the ones that work for you best. It's all about helping your partner experience the best possible outcome. Otherwise, it's just porn. Sure, read those explicit parts in the erotica books, and you'll get some idea about where to put what, and how to rub or caress certain body parts or nerve endings. Massage manuals can help you with that, too.
“The only warning is to stay away from practices that interfere with producing healthy offspring, regardless of whether you're 'protected'.”
Kaylee looked at Fiona and back at me. “Like you have some of those books in your huge library?”
I smiled. “And you haven't found them yet?”
Kaylee sat back, a blush on her face, and considering this.
I studied her face for a second, letting her digest that response. “Look, Kaylee – as I said earlier, you've been studying a whole lot of bunk about sex. It's come through your friends, and your schools, and what passes for entertainment these days. And you have some really bad habits from the mindsets you've adopted.
“And when your Aunt or I say you're 'acting out', it's because you are. Your just being a puppet on someone else's strings.”
Kaylee had a concerned look. “But doesn't that kind of thinking block any real understanding – isn't this just an endless mind-suck-loop?”
I shook my head. “You know that phrase, 'you can't fix stupid...”
Kaylee nodded, a wry grin forming.
“...but there's a second part to that - '...unless they first ask to get fixed'.”
I paused to let that sink in. Kaylee's eyes were off to the side, considering things.
“Look. The simplest way to approach this is the redemption story structure in your own chick flicks.”
That made Kaylee perk up and follow more closely.
“Take 'Pretty Woman' or 'Princess Diaries' or 'Pitch Perfect'. All of these had flawed characters who lived pretty rotten lives. But they each found a mentor and tried different things until they figured a better scene out for themselves. It's all 'Pygmalion'.”
“'My Fair Lady.'”
“Exactly. But you'll also notice that they also brought their own boyfriend along for the ride – encouraging him to sort out his own scene.”
Kaylee's mouth formed an 'O' as her eyebrows raised in comprehension. “Like when I came to you and asked to be trained.”
I smiled. “Well, if bull-headed insistence and dressing in thin nightgowns (or less) is 'asking', then yes.”
Kaylee flushed well below her sweatshirt collar.
Fiona stirred again, giving me a one-armed hug.
“OK, Kaylee? Any questions? No? Class is dismissed.”
No one moved. We were all too comfortable.
Kaylee's fingers were making their tapping sounds, but otherwise, I only heard the outdoor sounds of the birds and insects wafting in though the open, screened windows.
And I had no reason to move. Not with two beautiful women that I loved so close to me.
X
- - - -
THE SMELLS FROM THE big house had been delicious all afternoon.
After the day's last pasture walk, I'd slipped on a fresh t-shirt and my “town” jeans to be presentable. My slip-on sneakers over bare feet would do – I could kick them off inside.
A knock at my screen door interrupted my reverie.
“Karl.”
I turned and saw a sight I never expected to see.
Kaylee opened the screen door and stepped just inside the doorway. She was wearing a dark, pleated skirt that came down to just above her knees. And a short sleeved silk top buttoned up to the top. Below that was an evident camisole with spaghetti straps, making her choice quite demure.
“Well, Karl, you do clean up good. That much be one of your newest t-shirts. Fiona asked me to see if you were ready for dinner.”
I smiled. “Well, Kaylee, that answer is yes. And it's good to see this side of you.”
At that comment, she twirled once around for me. “And now you've seen all sides of this subject.”
My smile turned into a grin as she came forward for a hug. My arms responded to pull her close.
Fiona's head was against my chest and under my chin. “Thanks for this those lessons.”
I just held her close, relaxing the tenseness I usually had due to her other provocative outfit choices.
We both heard Fiona call from the big house's front door.
When we came out of the cabin together, Kaylee was holding my hand and we could see Fiona's wide smile watching us cross the short distance to her.
“I thought you two might be getting into some deep writer conversation, so I had to interrupt before all this great cooking cooled off.” Fiona held the door for us as we walked in.
After Kaylee made her way in, I hugged Fiona and felt more soft fabrics. Holding her at arm's length, I saw her tight, dark plunging v-neck top, which matched a dark and pleated soft skirt, which went below her knees. Modest flats below that. Charming. Classy. Inspiring.
Then I looked around the great room.
Candles. Lots of candles. Low lights showed a checkered table cloth spread out on the floor between the couch and side chairs. Throw pillows were on the floor for an indoor picnic. With paper plates, plasticware, and matching matching paper napkins, all waiting for food and drink.
Across to the other side of that layout was a big monitor on a short table. Kaylee's laptop was next to that monitor, open and ready for use.
I was grinning ear to ear. “Fiona, Kaylee, this is too much!”
Fiona was nearest, so she got to kiss me first with her appreciation for the compliment. “Oh, you go sit down and make yourself comfortable. I'll start bringing over the steak sandwiches.”
Kaylee took my hand and led me over. “Kick off those sneakers and sit between the pillows about here.” She pointed – and got her own kiss in.
It didn't take too much for me to wind up on the floor. While Fiona brought over the sandwiches and containers of cheesy potatoes and coleslaw, Kaylee brought over an iced tray of short “stubby” beers, all dew-covered.
I noticed the ladies had both slipped off their own shoes as they met me on the floor for dinner. Of course, their transitions from standing to sitting were smooth and delightful to watch. Skirts for ladies are a wonderful invention.
The arrival of food helped the paper plates and plasticware start finding their use.
Fiona raised her beer and toasted, “To solved mysteries and delicious romances!”
We all clinked our stubbies together. And we all sipped.
Kaylee then raised her own stubby beer, “To true love!”
That brought smiles to all our faces.
My turn. “To life-long friends and companions.”
Cheers all around.
- - - -
THE ROOM WAS QUIET as we dug into the barbecued steaks. Too soon, we were each filled to our individual brim. Kaylee got up and “cleaned” all the dishes into the trash can. Fiona meanwhile also got up and came back with small paper plates of dessert along with small plastic forks for each.
I sniffed at mine, while the two ladies were tasting theirs. “What is this, Fiona?”
She smiled. “A special recipe – rum cake. With extra rum.”
“This is just great, everything you want in a dessert – sweet, moist, delicious to your tongue in every bite.”
Kaylee giggled around her mouthful. Fiona raised a warning eyebrow. So I never heard that joke I'd accidentally become the butt of.
The desserts done, Kaylee moved on her knees toward the monitor and laptop to activate them. “OK, Karl, it's time for your education in chick flicks.”
Fiona cleaned up the remainder of the dinner ware, and folded up the table cloth, then returned with another chilled six-pack of stubbies from the refrigerator.
Kaylee had stretched out with her feet pointed toward the big monitor and a couple of pillows under her shoulders. She looked over at me and patted the space to her immediate right.
While I started maneuvering my long frame to parallel Kaylee's, laying on my back, Fiona laid down on the other side of me and positioned several throw pillows to cushion my head and hers, then rolled to her side, facing me. Her arm to that side was supporting her head on its pillows, while her other hand found mine to hold it.
Kaylee was using her smartphone as a remote and had queued up a list of movies to select from. “I bet you didn't know that your library had all these movies that are also chick flicks.”
She was reaching around my side for something, then looked at the my side to trace my arm up to where it was behind my head. Peering into my eyes, she cleared her throat and raised an eyebrow. Then looked pointedly at my arm again.
Point taken, I moved my arm back down to my side where she then put her small hand in mine and smiled.
Her eyes went back to the screen. “OK, Nicolas Sparks movies – of course (although the books are always better - steamier). But here's some hits you have - 'About Time', that fits your time travel mystery-fantasies you wrote. 'Pretty Woman', 'Ghost', the 'Twilight' five-plex, 'Divergent' and all these other movies with young women leads. If there weren't just as many action flicks to offset those...”
At that, Kaylee swatted me with her 'remote'. “You're a softy and a romantic at heart – admit it.”
I just smiled – which turned to a grin when Fiona nibbled on my ear from the other side.
Wrestling my ear back, my head turned in her direction. “OK Fiona – pop quiz – what makes these chick-flick movies?”
Her pout was cute. “OK, Professor Karl, it's about romance, but also the pursuit. And more light-hearted with 'awww-jeez' moments. Moments where you grab the nearest pillow and hold on to it like the boyfriend who should be right there watching it with you – and paying attention.”
Yes, I felt a hand-squeeze from both sides when she said that.
Kaylee spoke up, “But they all have decent story lines. And there's all the elements of 'serious' movies, but they are light-hearted.”
Fiona chimed in, “The emphasis is on the 'falling' in love rather than some action chase scene or 'serious' romantic conflicts. Girls are the heroes, and they always get their guy.”
I had to admit, they pointed out some great commonalities. “What about the guys in these films?”
Kaylee took that one, “They aren't just good looking hunks, although there's that. They usually wise up (a little bit) about how their girlfriend knows a few things they don't. They become less arrogant, more or less.”
Fiona smiled, “Of course, it doesn't hurt when there's some gratuitous booby shots and maybe some tight male tush showing up.”
I again turned toward her. “Just a hint of sex to spice things up?”
Kaylee put her smartphone on my chest, the reached out to pull my chin and face over towards her. Quietly, in a near whisper, “The idea is to experience the moment, to lose yourself in a simple love story. Any other 'juices' that get going are just bonuses.” Her eyes and lips were only inches from mine – just to make her point.
I could feel Fiona nod as she pushed her head up against my arm.
Kaylee's point made, she lightly kissed my nose, and started the first movie. And settled down against my other side to get her own cuddling in.
Trapped in a loving sandwich, I had to relax and follow their lead. Like the classic joke – any guy in a relationship always has the last word: “Yes, dear.”
The music swelled and the screen came alive with the opening logos...
- - - -
IT WAS MORNING, AND the early sun was still below the eastern tree line. But I could see clearly enough.
These two new ladies of my life were still on each side of me, But now we were like three spoons in a drawer. A snug fit. They were both deep asleep. I had now had Fiona in front of me (my left), and Kaylee behind (my right), which wasn't how we started out..
The couch's coverlet was now over us, and fortunately I had one arm over it. The two ladies had criss-crossed theirs over me.
And then I remembered the rum cake and all that beer.
But I didn't remember anything much after the third movie started.
Carefully lifting the coverlet with my free hand, I peeked below to find everyone was still fully clothed. And breathed a sigh of relief.
But also found those ladies were each dressed in flowered flannel PJ's now.
So I must have been a disappointment to any of their romance plans.
However, it was morning. And chores didn't quit just because two gorgeous women are warming your front and back.
Working to avoid wakening them, I carefully disentangled myself from their gorgeous arms and legs so I could sit up and take stock of other things. Observing the details beyond our sleeping arrangements.
The candles had all burned out, and the monitor had shut itself down.
Somehow, the many bottles of brew were now removed.
On one of the nearby easy chairs, I saw a large format hardback, almost a coffee-table edition. Kaylee's smart phone was holding a place in it. Carefully reaching over, I tugged it closer to find what she had been reading. An illustrated manual. Oops. I seemed to recall that position somehow. And found a blush on my cheeks, of all things.
Moving was tricky, but I did get to my feet and left the coverlet across those two cuddly ladies. Stuffing my bare feet into the sneakers, I made my way across the gravel to my tiny cabin. Chores were waiting.
- - - -
WITH ALL THE LIVESTOCK in the barn and coops fed, as well as the barn cats, I heard some clattering from the house windows and also smelled fried food brought by breezes moving from there to my nose..
The ladies were up and about. And I could probably snag some hot and fresh breakfast now, if I was quick about it.
XI
- - - -
FIONA WAS COOKING AND gave me a broad smile when I came in. Kaylee also smiled at me from the island, and pulled out the other tall bar stool for me to sit next to her.
I noticed that Kaylee was wearing her stovepipe stretch jeans and a loose, light-blue cotton, faux turtleneck sweater this morning. Classic. And her blond hair was hanging long behind her back, combed out and lustrous in the early morning light coming into the house from the east.
She'd just finished her own breakfast and had both hands on a coffee mug.
Fiona took her empty plate and sat down my own plate with a panbread egg sandwich in front of me. My coffee was already sitting there, still steaming.
She untiled and pulled off her apron to reveal that long-sleeved chambray shirt of hers, buttoned high against the cool morning. And stone-washed jeans below that. Her own brunette hair was also long down her back and gleaming.
Fiona brought her own plate of panbread over and ate it standing up.
Kaylee opened the conversation. “Well, Karl, that was good timing. This morning, I mean. Got here just in time. It would have been cold in another few minutes.”
I nodded. “Yeah, fresh-cooked food is always better hot rather than warmed-up.”
Fiona agreed. “Like the coffee. You can warm it up, but it's best right out of the pot just after it's brewed.”
“Well, you two look nice today. What's your plans?”
Silence stood in the small kitchen area for a bit.
Kaylee sat her mug down and looked at her Aunt. Fiona took her now empty plate to the sink, and then returned to her own coffee.
Only then did Fiona look at me. “Karl, it's time we headed back. Kaylee checked her emails – first time in days – and found she's got an early registration window for her college. And I have my house to look after.”
I gave a wry grin, which relaxed both of them. “Well, we knew this day was coming.”
They both nodded. Each holding their their mug with two hands. Getting comfort from the warmth.
“Need any help packing or anything?”
Kaylee finished off her own coffee and took the mug to the sink. She pulled out the wash basin from below the sink and started running hot water into it, and squeezing in a squirt of soap. The suds started foaming almost immediately.
Fiona broke the quiet of the morning again. “Karl, you know this is hard. I mean, we've had such fun here, it's been relaxing...”
Kaylee took a break from scrubbing the plates and utensils under that soapy surface. She tossed her hair to look over one shoulder at me as she added, “...and very educational.”
I just smiled, took another sip of coffee. “You know, I really enjoyed it, too. Very much. And it all turned out....”
Fiona took one of her hands and put it on mine, over the mug handle. “It all turned out great. Changed our lives. Really.”
My thumb went over the top of her hand, caressing it. “Mine too.”
Kaylee gave an audible sigh over the dish washing.
I slipped out from under Fiona's hand to finish the last sip of my coffee. Then placed my mug near hers. “Well, I'll go check the cows this morning. It will take about half an hour.”
Fiona looked pensively into my eyes. “That should be about right for us, too.”
Kaylee turned to see us two looking deeply at each other. I caught her eye and gave her a wink and a smile. She smiled back as she returned to her dishes.
Nodding to Fiona, who held both now-empty mugs in her hands, I went through the big door to the outside. They didn't need me as an extra dryer for those dishes, or a fifth wheel hanging around while they packed.
- - - -
WHEN I GOT BACK UP the cow path toward the house, I had a sheen of sweat on me, and noticed their car up by the house with it's trunk lid standing open.
Those last few paces were bittersweet. Because I was remembering when they first arrived and the very different looks on their faces at that time – worried, strained. Now they were relaxed, more certain.
By the time I got up to the house, the trunk of that sedan was closed and the two ladies I'd come to love were standing near it, waiting for me.
Kaylee came first, some clothing in her hand. “Karl, I washed your sweatshirt and that cowboy shirt of yours.” She held them out for me.
I took the stack of shirts, looked each of them over, and then handed the cowboy shirt to Fiona. “Hold that for me, would you?”
I unfolded the sweat shirt and held it up to my nose. “Yup still smells like me.” Pushing my hands up through its lower opening, I raised it up and pulled it down over Kaylee's head.
She instinctively put her arms through the sleeves. And was grinning.
“Kaylee, that's for your own inspiration on any cold nights you have to spend by yourself.”
She came up and hugged me, giving me a big smooch to boot.
I turned to her Aunt. “Fiona, why don't you keep that shirt. I don't know if you've got much use for it, except lazing around on weekends watching your chick-flicks.”
She brought it in with one hand and wrapped both arms around my neck for a hug and her own long kiss. As she pulled back, her eyes were misty, her lower lip quivered.
I stepped back. “Well, OK then. You'd better get in and leave. Or we'll all be a blubbering mess shortly.”
They both nodded with quiet smile. Kaylee got in on the passenger side, and Fiona circled around to the driver's side, tossing the cowboy shirt into the back seat as she eased in.
Kaylee rolled down her window. “Karl, we'll write. Promise.”
“You do that. 'Bye”
They waved, I waved.
And I was standing there for some time after the last of their dust cloud settled back onto the ground.
XII
- - - -
I DID GET A LONG EMAIL from Kaylee not long after that.
Essentially, she said that the college kids she'd met were stupid beyond any reason. The textbooks were completely missing the point of why people wrote, that they were full of grammar advice and how to compose your manuscript for submission. There was no discussion of plots without intensely complicated diagrams and laborious outlines. Nothing about structure. That they spent more time dissecting classics instead of getting original stories written. And the students were complaining about writing more than two pages at a time. Double-spaced. Her only retort was that you can't even get into the meat of a story until about at least the third or fourth page, so 6,000 words was almost just warming up. And she got such blank stares from her “supposed” friends when she talked about how she loved the redemption story arc in the chick flick movies.
She wrote that she missed me and our long conversations about intertwining story arcs and using the best words to involve the reader on a “gut” level.
Fiona left me a much shorter email. She said the house was giving her an “empty-nester” syndrome, so she was in the process of selling it and planning to move into an apartment nearer Kaylee. Not to cramp her niece's lifestyle, but maybe to take some night school accounting classes to update her skills.
She hoped I was doing well, that she missed me and the farm, and sent her best wishes for the cows and calves. Also the chickens and cats.
Yes, my eyes misted over with both of those emails.
I wrote them both back, of course. And told them that yes, I missed them too. But if they ever want to take a vacation, the big house is still the way they left it, all tidy and dusted. That they were welcome any time. And added to Kaylee that you can't fix stupid, so just nod and smile at them – focus on what really matters.
- - - -
ONE AFTERNOON, I WALKED down to the mail box at the end of that long driveway. There, I picked up yesterday's mail and put in some more letters, raising it's metal flag.
And I was thinking once again of those two ladies who had changed my life so much.
I'd heard there was a dance house opening up just outside of town, some sort of Opry-type operation. Maybe if they visit, I could take them there. Or maybe just check it out on my own, kinda reconnoiter that place to see if it matched up to their ad. Maybe talk to some people there.
Funny idea, that. Me getting out to socialize.
Down that long graveled road to the south, I saw the dust trail of some car or truck coming toward me.
For some reason, probably because I was already standing in some shade, I decided to wait and see what was coming, maybe wave to a neighbor going by or something.
It was a sedan. Pulling a tiny U-Haul trailer. That's odd. Was someone moving in around here?
As it got closer, the sedan slowed. Looking for directions, probably.
But instead of stopping for directions, that driver pulled right into my driveway. The sedan was covered with dust, and gave no real clue who was driving or riding in it.
As it stopped, both driver and front passenger-side doors opened.
And soon I was awash in tiny kisses and pressed with sturdy hugs from a sweatshirt-clad Kaylee, and a cowboy-shirt-wearing Fiona.
My arms were hugging them back just as much, even though I found my rear dungaree pockets were now filled with affectionate female hands.
- - - -
WE FOUND OURSELVES over breakfast the next morning. I got in first, so I got to cook our breakfast.
The smells of coffee and fried panbread wafted their way upstairs, and pattering female feet soon brought my two dearest ladies downstairs again.
Their chattering talk soon brought me up to date.
Kaylee had quit her classes early, and so got the college to refund the cost of them back to her trust. She told me that she'd learned more about writing in one week than she'd ever learn in four years of classes there. But when she did decide to get some degree in something, she'd be able to.
I mentioned that she still needed to get out and compare notes with others her age. She rolled her eyes in a “yes, dad” motion, but smiled at the tease. We both knew that reclusiveness was not in her nature.
Fiona had originally planned to live nearer to Kaylee, but realized that she could make her living from anywhere now. And my example of minimalist living helped her pack her whole household into a small trailer.
So now, they live in the big house and have taken over a big chunk of my life. Sure, they let me get my writing done. But as they tell me their new life stories, some themes and characters manage to make their way into my books – under other aliases, of course.
Kaylee has weaned herself off the “steamy” romances to study the prose of the topselling “clean” ones – and how the ellipses talk louder than explicit details.
We are all working on improving our trust with each other. Regular “chick flick” nights help. I'm learning a lot from the hugs and squeezes during certain points of these movies. These two ladies are good teachers.
The three of us are visiting that local Opry regularly now. I've reacquainted myself with the Texas two-step as a result. Not that we all come home together, but that's the point, isn't it?
I might even fall deeply in love again if this keeps up. But meanwhile, I have two loving ladies in my life to care for and be cared for.
Life is good. Better than ever.
Book Universes Notes
- - - -
THIS BOOK WAS A SEQUEL to “The Caretaker”. It describes the son of Herman Gauss from that book.
A reclusive author like his father, Karl Gauss has his own unexamined issues.
The challenge in this book has been to write a modern story about sex, but without any explicit on-page sex. And I can tell you that now, without giving any spoilers. Because you've already read this, right?
It's been outlined and planned at least three times. Originally, I thought I was going to have to write an erotica version under a different pen name and publisher imprint. Then this was pared down to being able to have off-screen scenes that led the reader to decide what happened. At last, it was pointed out that the main character was contradicting himself to change a person's life by telling her 'no' only to tell her descendants 'yes'.
That lead to a marvelous plot-twist and coming-of-age revelation.
Even the ending had to be re-written, but now it has a better Happily Ever After than originally.
I hope you enjoyed this.
Next: Last Chance
Earlier in this Series
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