[Pro Writer] Hondo by Louis L'Amour - Dissection, Part 4

We continue dissecting L'Amour's short story - "Gift of Cochise". Where his bestseller and movie "Hondo" came from - where his novel-writing career took off.

The spread for “Gift of Cochise” as it appeared in Colliers (5 July 1952)

OUR WORK SO FAR: Hondo was L’Amour’s big break into novels. It was based on his “Gift of Cochise”. We’re continuing to work through this short story, following W. S. Campbell’s prescribed approach. (See this Dissection Part 1 post.) Last installment was Scene 14.

Again, I found a PDF of the original short story, although I’ve not been able to find that link again - and included it here ICYMI:

The Gift Of Cochise Louis L'amour

109KB ∙ PDF file

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In this installment, we are referencing Keep ‘Em Reading Lesson 03 - The Overall Pattern. Review this before continuing.

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Dissection: The Gift of Cochise - Scene 13.

The miles grew long and the sun was hot. He was offered no water and he asked for none. The Indians ignored him. Once a young brave rode near and struck him viciously. Lane made no sound, gave no indication of pain. When they finally stopped, it was beside a huge anthill swarming with big red desert ants.

Roughly, they untied him and jerked him from his horse. He dug in his heels and shouted at them in Spanish: "The Apaches are women! They tie me to the ants because they are afraid to fight me!"

An Indian struck him, and Ches glared at the man. If he must die, he would show them how it should be done. Yet he knew the unpredictable nature of the Indian, of his great respect for courage.

"Give me a knife, and I'll kill any of your warriors!"

They stared at him, and one powerfully built Apache angrily ordered them to get on with it. Cochise spoke, and the big warrior replied angrily.

Ches Lane nodded at the anthill. "Is this the death for a fighting man? I have fought your strong men and beaten them. I have left no trail for them to follow, and for months I have lived among you, and now only by accident have you captured me. Give me a knife," he added grimly, "and I will fight him!" He indicated the big, black-faced Apache.

The warrior's cruel mouth hardened, and he struck Ches across the face.

The white man tasted blood and fury. "Woman!" Ches said. "Coyote! You are afraid!" Ches turned on Cochise, as the Indians stood irresolute. "Free my hands and let me fight!" he demanded. "If I win, let me go free."

Cochise said something to the big Indian. Instantly, there was stillness. Then an Apache sprang forward and, with a slash of his knife, freed Lane's hands. Shaking loose the thongs, Ches Lane chafed his wrists to bring back the circulation. An Indian threw a knife at his feet. It was his own bowie knife.

Ches took off his riding boots. In sock feet, his knife gripped low in his hand, its cutting edge up, he looked at the big warrior.

"I promise you nothing," Cochise said in Spanish, "but an honorable death."

The big warrior came at him on cat feet. Warily, Ches circled. He had not only to defeat this Apache but to escape. He permitted himself a side glance toward his horse. It stood alone. No Indian held it.

The Apache closed swiftly, thrusting wickedly with the knife. Ches, who had learned knife-fighting in the bayou country of Louisiana, turned his hip sharply, and the blade slid past him. He struck swiftly, but the Apache's forward movement deflected the blade, and it failed to penetrate. However, as it swept up between the Indian's body and arm, it cut a deep gash in the warrior's left armpit.

The Indian sprang again, like a clawing cat, streaming blood. Ches moved aside, but a backhand sweep nicked him, and he felt the sharp bite of the blade.

Turning, he paused on the balls of his feet.

He had had no water in hours. His lips were cracked. Yet he sweated now, and the salt of it stung his eyes. He stared into the malevolent black eyes of the Apache, then moved to meet him. The Indian lunged, and Ches sidestepped like a boxer and spun on the ball of his foot.

The sudden sidestep threw the Indian past him, but Ches failed to drive the knife into the Apache's kidney when his foot rolled on a stone. The point left a thin red line across the Indian's back. The Indian was quick. Before Ches could recover his balance, he grasped the white man's knife wrist. Desperately, Ches grabbed for the Indian's knife hand and got the wrist, and they stood there straining, chest to chest.

Seeing his chance, Ches suddenly let his knees buckle, then brought up his knee and fell back, throwing the Apache over his head to the sand. Instantly, he whirled and was on his feet, standing over the Apache. The warrior had lost his knife, and he lay there, staring up, his eyes black with hatred.

Coolly, Ches stepped back, picked up the Indian's knife, and tossed it to him contemptuously. There was a grunt from the watching Indians, and then his antagonist rushed. But loss of blood had weakened the warrior, and Ches stepped in swiftly, struck the blade aside, then thrust the point of his blade hard against the Indian's belly.

Black eyes glared into his without yielding. A thrust, and the man would be disemboweled, but Ches stepped back. "He is a strong man," Ches said in Spanish. "It is enough that I have won."

Deliberately, he walked to his horse and swung into the saddle. He looked around, and every rifle covered him.

So he had gained nothing. He had hoped that mercy might lead to mercy, that the Apache's respect for a fighting man would win his freedom. He had failed.

Again they bound him to his horse, but they did not take his knife from him.

When they camped at last, he was given food and drink. He was bound again, and a blanket was thrown over him. At daylight they were again in the saddle. In Spanish he asked where they were taking him, but they gave no indication of hearing. When they stopped again, it was beside a pole corral, near a stone cabin.

Discussion:

Follow this scene through the overall structure found in that reference above:

1. The hook is the captured Lane, soon to be tortured by Indians. And yet he insults his captors, despite the beatings.

2. The reader is involved in the abuse of the brave man - who knows his only escape is in winning a knife fight despite his own poor physical condition.

3. The fight starts and moves through twists, with Lane escaping death several times by his wits and training.

4. At last, Lane exhausts his enemy and spares his life, only to swing into the saddle of his horse with all the Apache rifles trained on him.

Those last three paragraphs give the sequel to this scene - and the last line of the last paragraph:

When they stopped again, it was beside a pole corral, near a stone cabin.

then leads you to read right on to find out what happens next. A pointer.

This structure is what readers want, what they are conditioned to expect out of a good story. Once you see this pattern, you’ll find it everywhere - in all great fiction and non-fiction. Because it’s the way readers prefer to have their stories delivered. The referenced article above is slanted toward non-fiction, but is also the core to all fiction successes as well as all great copywriting.

Also note that article mentions unity and coherence of the completed work. Everything much maintain the focus of the reader through the work. This builds continuity so there is no interruption to the reading flow.

Again, L’Amour is utilizing the core basics of Campbell’s effective approach. Something he’d learned 15 years prior — and which financed his storytelling all that time.

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Now we see what led up to that ending, better. Again, we are looking for both feeling and fact in sentences, descriptive tags, and as well find needed plants and pointers to the action we are seeing in this scene.

Ches Lane needs a bowie knife to show up earlier.

Now you can review those other scenes and look for the overall pattern to show up in each scene. Two lessons from now, we’ll take up the structure of the scene itself. Next week, we’ll concentrate on how words, sentences, paragraphs, and bridges build a cohesive story on their own.

Our Continuing Studies

The point of that first series out of Forgotten Bestseller Secrets is: Keep ‘Em Reading.

Find the rest of these lessons here:

Forgotten Bestseller Secrets - Keep 'Em Reading: Table of Contents

What we’ve brought up - tags, pointers, scene-sequels, unity, continuity — all these are covered as forgotten bestseller secrets. I spent years finding and digesting the materials produced in that first two decades of W. S. Campbell’s training course. It’s never been duplicated any where else or sense.

Finally, I distilled his materials as best I could to repackage it into a modern form (mini-courses) which could be readily understood in our current culture. I’ve also included material from his first instructors who taught alongside him at that time. This first section has eight lessons, and exposes you to the hard-won basics these instructors found and tested through hard work and persistence. These tell you how readers want their stories structured and presented. Its a lot to master - and they come across like secrets.

And these secrets are now being released again. All so you and everyone can speed up their progress in learning how write un-put-downable popular stories. While not having to spend decades re-inventing the wheel for yourself.

The reason for investing all this time is to help you save it. Because life only flows one way. It can be invested, but the returns are only in your own quality of life. Sure, it’s never too late. You can always get everything you’ve ever wanted to be or have out of life. Starting now. And this newsletter helps you find the library of life-changing books I’ve accumulated and now share. This one area is in how to write effectively.

All until, eventually, someone brings these Campbell books back into print. For now, I’ll continue to promote him and his instructor’s works. And help people understand how to communicate better with each other through their writing.

This is why we are here - to make this world a better place. One typed (or spoken) word at a time. Because when you understand how people like to be told their stories, then your writing gets easier. And people want to find more of your books because they finally found an author that “gets them”, that speaks personally to them. These are the forgotten bestseller secrets.

You get certainty on your own craft by distilling other authors, both good and bad, to find what they did great and how they could do better. That’s learning. That’s evolution. That’s why we are here.

Continuing this Dissection

Over the next few weeks, we’ll continue taking this story apart. And I’ll keep these dissective posts in some sort of table of contents so you can second-guess my brief notes and find more writing devices L’Amour used here.

Once “Cochise” is wrapped up, we plan to start in on the “Hondo” book proper — at least that’s the plan. But I don’t know how all this will turn out. Real life doesn’t allow you to skip to the ending…

Meanwhile, I’m continuing to release the rest of the two mini-courses here - on Compelling Characters and Riveting Storytelling. All at one chapter per week. While this series you’re reading continues to utilize what we learn in those mini-courses to teach us how to write better. Every week, something new - from finding how the classics can teach us.

Regardless, I hope to see you here next week to continue the process of finding out how L’Amour pulled all this off.

Missed What we Covered Earlier?

[Pro Writing] Hondo by Louis L'Amour - Dissection, Part 1

[Pro Writer] Hondo by Louis L'Amour - Dissection, Part 2

[Pro Writer] Hondo by Louis L'Amour - Dissection, Part 3

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For Paid Members

You can forge ahead on your own. I’ve attached everything you need for your own self-paced study.

I’ve extracted the Chochise story’s text and attached my epub file below. (Use Calibre or similar to convert it to plain text.) I’ve also recreated this short story with the scenes in reverse order - also attached.

Also included is the full “Forgotten Bestseller Secrets”, which has the full mini-course, plus two additional mini-courses on characterization and plot building. All based on Campbell’s works and those of his instructors.

As well, I’ve included Campbell’s contemporaries, Foster Harris and Dwight V. Swain in “The Basic Formulas of Fiction”. This will explain more about the technical points we’ve covered above.

That’s three books out of the Writerpreneur Series which address writing craft. You’re welcome.

Needless to say, you ought to upgrade to paid in order to speed your progress as a professional writer.