[Pro Writer] Hondo by Louis L'Amour - Dissection, Part 5

We continue dissecting L'Amour's short story - "Gift of Cochise". Where his bestseller and movie "Hondo" came from - where his novel-writing career took off.

The spread for “Gift of Cochise” as it appeared in Colliers (5 July 1952)

OUR WORK SO FAR: Hondo was L’Amour’s big break into novels. It was based on his “Gift of Cochise”. We’re continuing to work through this short story, following W. S. Campbell’s prescribed approach. (See this Dissection Part 1 post.) Last installment was Scene 13.

This post is too long for most email viewers. Click on the external link to get the full version - and bonuses.

Again, I found a PDF of the original short story, although I’ve not been able to find that link again - and included it here ICYMI:

The Gift Of Cochise Louis L'amour

109KB ∙ PDF file

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In this installment, we are referencing Keep ‘Em Reading Lesson 04 - The Flow of Ideas. Review this before continuing.

As these next three Cochise scenes are short, I’ve included them into a single chunk for study. But take your time reviewing each. They each build into the next. We are concentrating this week on the flow of ideas through words, sentences, paragraphs, and bridges.

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Dissection: The Gift of Cochise - Scene 12, 11, 10.

We’ve already seen how the hero, Ches Lane, gets out of trouble and how, as well as his reward. These next ones set the stage for getting into trouble. Here, a few plants should show up, as well as pointers. Check your notes on what this story is still needing to hold together.

12.

He woke up suddenly in the broad daylight. The horse was listening to something, his head up. Swiftly, Ches went to the horse and led it back under the overhang. Then he drew on his boots, rolled his blankets, and saddled the horse.

Still he heard no sound.

Climbing the rim again, he studied the desert and found nothing. Returning to his horse, he mounted up and rode down the canyon toward the flatland beyond.

Coming out of the canyon mouth, he rode right into the middle of a war party of more than twenty Apaches—invisible until suddenly they stood up behind rocks, their rifles leveled. And he didn't have a chance.

Swiftly, they bound his wrists to the saddle horn and tied his feet. Only then did he see the man who led the party. It was Cochise.

He was a lean, wiry Indian of past fifty, his black hair streaked with gray, his features strong and clean-cut. He stared at Lane, and there was nothing in his face to reveal what he might be thinking.

Several of the young warriors pushed forward, talking excitedly and waving their arms. Ches Lane understood none of it, but he sat straight in the saddle, his head up, waiting. Then Cochise spoke and the party turned, and, leading his horse, they rode away.

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11.

Ches Lane had reached a narrow canyon by midafternoon and decided to make camp. There was small possibility he would find another such spot, and he was dead tired, his muscles sodden with fatigue. The canyon was one of those unexpected gashes in the cap rock that gave no indication of its presence until you came right on it. After some searching, Ches found a route to the bottom and made camp under a wind-hollowed overhang. There was water, and there was a small patch of grass.

After his horse had a drink and a roll on the ground, it began cropping eagerly at the rich, green grass, and Ches built a smokeless fire of ancient driftwood in the canyon bottom. It was his first hot meal in days, and when he had finished he put out his fire, rolled a smoke, and leaned back contentedly.

Before darkness settled, he climbed to the rim and looked over the country. The sun had gone down, and the shadows were growing long. After a half hour of study, he decided there was no living thing within miles, except for the usual desert life. Returning to the bottom, he moved his horse to fresh grass, then rolled in his blanket. For the first time in a month, he slept without fear.

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10.

The crops were small but good. Little Jimmy worked beside her. At night, Angie sat alone on the steps and watched the shadows gather down the long canyon, listening to the coyotes yapping from the rim of the Guadalupes, hearing the horses blowing in the corral. She watched, still hopeful, but now she knew that Cochise was right: Ed would not return.

But even if she had been ready to give up this, the first home she had known, there could be no escape. Here she was protected by Cochise. Other Apaches from other tribes would not so willingly grant her peace.

At daylight she was up. The morning air was bright and balmy, but soon it would be hot again. Jimmy went to the spring for water, and when breakfast was over, the children played while Angie sat in the shade of a huge old cottonwood and sewed. It was a Sunday, warm and lovely. From time to time, she lifted her eyes to look down the canyon, half-smiling at her own foolishness.

The hard-packed earth of the yard was swept clean of dust; the pans hanging on the kitchen wall were neat and shining. The children's hair had been clipped, and there was a small bouquet on the kitchen table.

After a while, Angie put aside her sewing and changed her dress. She did her hair carefully, and then, looking in her mirror, she reflected with sudden pain that she was pretty, and that she was only a girl.

Resolutely, she turned from the mirror and, taking up her Bible, went back to the seat under the cottonwood. The children left their playing and came to her, for this was a Sunday ritual, their only one. Opening the Bible, she read slowly,

"…though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou…"

"Mommy." Jimmy tugged at her sleeve. "Look!"

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Discussion:

This week, the emphasis is on the flow of ideas. This adds to the story structure and ties each scene together inside itself, as well as to the scenes before and after.

As in the lesson above, look for word choice, sentence construction, paragraph flow, and the use of bridges.

Again, while this book and its lessons emphasize non-fiction writing, the rules and principles of this are the same for fiction and copywriting. Mastering all three disciplines is key in both building and marketing a diverse backlist of books — one that will bring you continuing sales, even with little or no active promotion.

Idea Flow is essential to capture and fuel reader interest. We’ve covered using both feeling and fact in sentences. We’ve covered the core structure readers expect in their writing. Now we dive deeper into word choice, sentence form, and flowing paragraphs between each other. As well, you can see L’Amour’s use of bridge devices.

All these technical points add up. And the purpose of this Dissection is to utilize this short story to learn these lessons more thoroughly. There is a wealth of data available here. (And getting copies of the original Campbell, Harris, and Swain texts provide even more to explore.)

You may want to print off this page so you can take pencil and highlighter to these scenes. Second-guess L’Amour’s word and sentence choices. Consider if his paragraph formation and transitions keep you reading, along with pace and tension. Make your notes. Go back to earlier dissections and see how they fare.

Again, L’Amour is utilizing the core basics of Campbell’s effective approach. Something he’d learned 15 years prior — and which financed his storytelling all that time.

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Our Continuing Studies

The point of that first series out of Forgotten Bestseller Secrets is: Keep ‘Em Reading.

Find the rest of these lessons in their Table of Content here:

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Coming this next week…

We’ll take up the overarching approach and formula for writing scenes and sequels. Now we’ll start really building on what we’ve covered earlier, gaining some true momentum.

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About Forgotten Bestseller Secrets

I spent years uncovering and digesting the materials produced in that first two decades of W. S. Campbell’s training course. It’s never been duplicated any where else or since.

Finally, I distilled his materials as best I could to repackage it into a modern form (mini-courses) which could be readily understood in our current culture. So you and everyone can speed up their progress in learning how write un-put-downable popular stories. While not having to spend decades re-inventing the wheel for yourself.

All until, eventually, someone brings these Campbell books back into print. For now, I’ll continue to promote him and his instructor’s works. And help people understand how to communicate better with each other through their writing.

You get certainty on your own craft by distilling other authors, both good and bad, to find what they did great and how they could do better. That’s learning. That’s evolution. That’s why we are here.

Continuing this Dissection

Over the next few weeks, we’ll keep taking this story apart. And I’ll tally these dissective posts in some sort of table of contents so you can second-guess my brief notes and find more writing devices L’Amour used here.

Once “Cochise” is wrapped up, we plan to start in on the “Hondo” book proper — at least that’s the plan. But I don’t know how all this will turn out. Real life doesn’t allow you to skip to the ending…

Meanwhile, I’m continuing to release the rest of the two mini-courses here - on Compelling Characters and Riveting Storytelling. All at one chapter per week. While this series you’re reading continues to utilize what we learn in those mini-courses to teach us how to write better. Every week, something new - from finding how the classics can teach us.

Regardless, I hope to see you here next week to continue the process of finding out how L’Amour pulled all this off in a single short story that started his worldwide fame.

Earlier in This Series…

[Pro Writing] Hondo by Louis L'Amour - Dissection, Part 1

[Pro Writer] Hondo by Louis L'Amour - Dissection, Part 2

[Pro Writer] Hondo by Louis L'Amour - Dissection, Part 3

[Pro Writer] Hondo by Louis L'Amour - Dissection, Part 4

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For Paid Members

You can forge ahead on your own. I’ve attached everything you need for your own self-paced study.

I’ve extracted the Cochise story’s text and attached my epub file below. (Use Calibre or similar to convert it to plain text.) I’ve also recreated this short story with the scenes in reverse order - also attached.

Also included is the full Forgotten Bestseller Secrets book, which has the full mini-course, plus two additional mini-courses on characterization and plot building. We’ll need those next two courses in dissecting L’Amour’s Hondo itself. All based on Campbell’s works and those of his instructors.

As well, I’ve included Campbell’s contemporaries, Foster Harris and Dwight V. Swain in “The Basic Formulas of Fiction”. This will explain more about the technical points we’ve covered above.

That’s three books out of the Writerpreneur Series which address writing craft. You’re welcome.

Needless to say, you ought to upgrade to paid in order to speed your progress as a professional writer.